I bought a planner for 2021. It turns out the planner I ended up buying is way more intense than I had expected. For every day, there are 2 whole pages of lines and boxes for me to fill in a variety of topics: things I am grateful for, personal affirmations, what exercise I completed that day, the day's priorities, the day's schedule, tasks to be completed, wins for the end of the day, and how I will improve in the future. Like I said....INTENSE! But while filling in some of the spaces today, I was struck with the "affirmation" box. I have never been good at keeping or saying affirmations, but I do know they can be a powerful tool. I certainly believe in the power of words, both positive and negative. But for some reason, I have always felt a bit awkward about personal affirmations. Maybe it's just the human condition to want to shy away from compliments and a sense of self-aggrandizement, but today I had a quick experience that made me notice the wisdom of children and how I can be more loving to myself. Grace was a very tender toddler today. While there were still tears and fights between sisters, there were also many moments where I saw sharing, gratitude, and love. My mama heart swelled with love at hearing Grace exclaim, "Oh! Thank you, Maddy." when Madelyn handed her the Elsa doll. When Maddy was crying because she had hurt herself, Grace willingly shared her own beloved blankie and lovie to help Maddy feel better (this is a BIG deal!). And its funny to see Grace pass some of her own food to Maddy at the dinner table with an enthusiastic, "Here you go, Mad-o-win." (phonetically accurate spelling of her sister's name according to Grace. haha). At one point in the day, I simply stated, "Grace, you are a very sweet girl." At that, Grace responded with, "Yes, Mommy, I a sweet girl." And I was stuck with how easily Grace was able to repeat and believe that affirmation. I hope she always believes and lives up to that statement. It is a true statement even when there are tears and tantrums. To end this thought, I was reading a post on a parenting account on Instagram today. The post said, "A bad moment does not make you a bad parent."
Sometimes we look at all the faults and failures, and we begin to define ourselves by the negative instead of by the positive. But we are not defined by our bad moments. We need to be able to acknowledge those failures, plan on how to do better, and then move forward with forgiveness in our hearts for ourselves. We are not our bad moments. I have a goal this year to write affirmations (I dont know yet if I will do this weekly or monthly), post them somewhere where I will see them daily, and repeat them to myself. I want to work diligently to see myself the way my Heavenly Father sees me. I want to feel confident and love myself no matter the circumstances. I want to be able to say with the ease of a two year old, "Yes, I a sweet girl."
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